A new two-year degree is being
offered at Life University
that many of you should be interested in: Becoming A Real Man.
That's right, in just six trimesters,
you, too, can be a real man -
as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men).
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas
MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers
MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like an Jerk When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers
SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
MEN 201 How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 202 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down Elective (See electives Below)
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially When Naked
MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1
MEN 220 Omitting f*** from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket After Pooting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2
EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu
EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 Burping and BelchingDiscreetly
MEN 231 Mothers-in-Law
MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001B Cheaper to Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001A)
And, to be fair.............
CONTINUING EDUCATION CLASSES FOR WOMEN
1. Combating the Imelda Marcos
Syndrome:You Do Not Need New Shoes everyday.
2. Communication Skills: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.
3. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
4. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
5. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
6. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
8. Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You . . .
9. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
10. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
11. Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor.
12. Cooking: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
13. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
14. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.
15. Sex: It's For Married Couples Too.
16. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?": Learning Why Men Lie.