Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
   ---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

 Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
  ---Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

 No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and
 tired of putting up with her shit.
  ---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill North Carolina

 To do is to be - Descartes
 To be is to do - Voltaire
 Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra
  ---Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona

 Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
  ---Women's restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana

 A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going
 to have trouble with it.
  ---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas,Texas

 Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
   ---Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom

 Express Lane: Five beers or less
  ---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

 You're too good for him.
  ---Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevics, Beverly Hill, CA

 No wonder you always go home alone.
   ---Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA

 The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
  ---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

 If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here.
 Your asshole is in Washington.
   ---Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington

 Beauty is only a light switch away.
   ---Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NorthCarolina.

 I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
  ---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge,Massachusetts.

 If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all
 get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
   ---Armand's Pizza,  Washington, D.C.

 God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
   ---The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.

 At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
   ---Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona

 It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
   ---Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.

 If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
   ---Revolution Books, New York, New York

 Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
  ---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

 What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
  ---Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, KY